Wasted

"...I have since wondered if there is something about the city that clicks with people like me....fosters the hunger for power and success to such a degree that the people themselves become hollow....sucked dry of simple humanity. It surprised but did not bother me how naturally nastiness came to me. I liked the palpable proximity to speed and power, within spitting distance of the real world. I could almost reach a hand out and touch it, this nameless thing I wanted so badly.
The strange thing is, the poems I wrote while I was there are all about the sadness of cities. The desperation I sensed. The incredible, terrible speed.
I decided I could live here just fine.
No one even noticed me.
I was invisible.
It was perfect.
We all went zipping down the streets, our separate and anonymous ways, squinting in the sudden light....past the flower vendors, the fruit vendors, the hotdog and pretzel stands, past the cafés and the shops, and the park where men slept on benches with newspapers over their faces, past the men asleep on the grates in the sidewalk where steam rose like a belch from the belly of the city, past the women with signs and tin cups, crouched up against buildings, below eye level.
Everyone was gauging the distance between here and there, avoiding eye contact, swinging briefcases in sharp arcs, clutching purses to hips, walking that walk.
I perfected that walk in short order.
You walk as fast as possible, even if you're only going to the store for a cup of coffee, even if you're going nowhere in particular, even if you're early for work. You walk as if you're going to be late. You are definitely going to be late, for a very important date, and because you are all trying to look important, you walk as if it is important that you not be late because there are things waiting for your important consideration when you get there, because the city will come to a stand-still if you are even a split second late.
You keep your face blank.
You do not smile and you do not frown.
You look straight ahead, 
you don't notice the bums you step over without breaking your stride, nor the fruit vendor who waves to you everyday as you pass. You smile a shy smile and say hi, and then straighten your face again and keep your thoughts to yourself and keep going.

Because you are essentially just a small town girl lost in a big city,
and it always makes you want to cry."




-Marya Hornbacher

La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours

Paintings and future textiles

 Someday I want Picasso replicas all over my house. To remind me that something doesn't have to be perfect or even make any sense in order to be beautiful. What is perfection anyway? I'd rather something to have character than be precise and exact.

I love the abstraction. I think to be surrounded by Picasso's works would remind me that I don't have to be so analytical and put so much thought into what doesn't matter...but to instead just...be. The things that do indeed matter will come along organically with time.


While I'm on the subject of art (when am I not), I'd really like to find a textile that makes me think of this painting by Van Gogh (Dance Hall at Arles; 1888)

                                          
Maybe I could use the color scheme and make a textile design myself (inspired by this painting) when I get to that point in school. That would be incredible. I wonder what fabric would be best though...it's a painting on canvas, so something like tapestry cotton ottoman fabric to keep it more true-to-form.

Alas, here are a few more works of art I must own someday

              (Picasso variation of Velasueqez's Las Menina's)
 

                        (Picasso; Mandolin and guitar)

  (Picasso; Jacqueline with Flowers)

La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours

Breaking down these self-imposed walls.

I'm so nervous to tell anyone about this blog.
I don't know why...probably because it's still so new and in-the-making, but also because criticism makes me defensive.
I think now would be a good time to get over that.
I'm not really much of a "fashion blogger" in the usual sense. Yes, I can put pieces together to create a somewhat majestic over-all visual effect, and that skill will indeed come in handy when I have the opportunity in the future to assist fashion stylists, and eventually wander off into my own ventures of fashion styling. However, I am not a model (definitely not at 5'2") and I am a bit camera-shy. I will occasionally post pictures of myself in different findings I get overly excited about, but more-so in the future months to come. As I've mentioned before, I am currently camera-less (due to my penchant for choosing new paint markers and & sketching pencils over electronics. This also explains why my cell phone has been shut off, but I sure as hell have a new sketchbook.)
I am not here to pick apart any runway looks. I am a designer, not a critic.
I am a lover of art & aesthetics, and my posts will mostly consist of what I myself find to be inspiring....whether it be artwork, poetry, people, music, garments, or things that are completely random.
I've spent the last six years putting all of my focus and energy into the business side of the music industry, and suppressing my own creativity by putting the creative works of other people first.
So please bear with me as I slowly come out of my shell and become more comfortable expressing my own creative core and sharing it with the world.
For those of you who read this and choose to stick around...I thank you for sharing in my growth and progress.
This will surely be an interesting journey :)




La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours

I drink coffee like water, and I still never know what to say...

Today I start my very first official workday at my new job. Well....training, but I still get paid nonetheless. I need the moneyss because it's starting to feel like quite a bland life to live without a good ol' camera (I had an old tendency to break things by accident.) That way I will be able to post my OWN photographs instead of stalking New York Magazine and Style.com.

Anywho, getting dressed for work is sucking the fun out of my favorite part of the day. Dress codes are so restricting....I can only where black or khaki pants (however, I would not be caught dead wearing khaki anything) and a white or black shirt. Shoes seem to be open for discussion, as long as they're not sneakers (duhh) and don't need to be a certain color.

I wish I could take a picture of my outfit, but bear with me for the next few weeks.I'm pretty stoked I found a picture of the boots I own/will be wearing today :)
I love these to death. They make me feel like a classy pirate.
(Boots by Rampage.)
This is the closest thing I could find to represent the vest I am wearing . Except mine has two sets of buttons, an awesome fold-over collar, and is debatable whether it's actually dark brown or black.


The rest of the outfit is a black long sleeve V-neck, a brown cami, black stockings under black H&M shorts.....pfft, I really wish I never broke my camera.
Use your imaginations!! I am definitely exercising mine as I try to stay within "dress-code" and still feel like myself. It's quite horrid to feel uncomfortable at work, when that is where you will spend the majority of your time. I don't know about the rest of you, but if I'm not comfortable in what I'm wearing, it completely ruins my day. However, this is all sacrifice for the greater good: ART SCHOOL.

Maybe I'll just wear red lipstick. That adds instant class and sass.

Okay, I'm off to go finish getting ready. Should probably also ease up on the chugging of coffee, since I will be spending 5 hours sitting at a training computer. I hope they make me watch those lame 80's/90's retiquette videos. They're my favorite part.

La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours

Art school!!

(my boyfriend and I....courtesy of Kathryn Turner Photography.)


Sooo....lately I have been looking into art schools in the San Francisco area. One was the Academy of Art University, whom I wrote a winning essay for, & won 2 tickets to their senior runway show at New York Fashion Week for last Friday. I am still so sad that I unfortunately couldn't attend, due to prior obligations (i.e.-a retail job interview.) I know, I know....Fashion Week would be worth rescheduling a job interview, but a day job=moving to San Francisco sooner.
I've decided to attend The Art Institute of California - San Francisco for my Bachelors of Fine Art. I've never been so excited in my life!! I'm halfway through the admissions process right now. I'll hopefully be starting out with online courses in April (the day after my birthday!) and then saving up as much as I can to move to San Fran by October so I can start the next quarter on campus :)It's so ridiculously beautiful, I cannot WAIT to live there :) So much culture and art I am dying to take in. I couldn't begin to imagine a better place for inspiration (in the U.S. at least.) Museums and art galleries and little independent cafés....it'll be pure heaven.
PLUS: many of Condé Nast's publications have branches in San Francisco.
I sense an internship opportunity in the future!






La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours

Maison Valentino

Chiuri & Piccioli, I adore you so. This dress inspires cartwheels on your behalf.
I'm yearning for a black leather bow belt to pair with...
pretty much everything.

(Dear springtime:
Please get here soon so I can prance around in femme-y dresses in classic silhouettes.
Especially in ones made of picturesque textiles.)





These fantastic Nicholas Kirkwood booties would pair up beautifully with the feminine edginess of leather and lace found in the Maison Valentino. Which is ironic, coming from me, who usually wouldn't ever be attracted to something that matchy-matchy. Maybe with an off-kilter fedora and crazy colored nylons.



La vie d'amour, le style d'Amour, l'Amour toujours